


to live (by your side) will be an awfully big adventure

by phantasizeit



Category: Phandom/The Fantastic Foursome (YouTube RPF)
Genre: Alternate Universe - College/University, Cuddling, M/M, Mutual Pining, Tickling, phil watches hook and cries because same, they're just two bros on a movie date
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-02-26
Updated: 2018-02-26
Packaged: 2019-03-24 04:39:35
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 4,670
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/13803582
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/phantasizeit/pseuds/phantasizeit
Summary: Phil is a British international student at an American college, and Dan is his American best friend. After a hard day, Dan and Phil have a movie night together and Phil gets a lot more than he bargained for.





	to live (by your side) will be an awfully big adventure

**Author's Note:**

  * For [BecausePuns](https://archiveofourown.org/users/BecausePuns/gifts).



> I was a pinch hitter for the Phandom Secret Valentines event! This is a gift to @becausepuns on tumblr :)

Phil knocked on the door in rapid succession, hoping to god that Dan was around. It had been a long day for Phil. It had gotten to the point in his college career where he couldn’t avoid 8:00 AMs anymore, because his classes were only offered once a semester. And now there so few people in his classes, that he couldn’t hide in the back of the classroom and refuse to add something insightful to the discussion. His schedule had been packed today, and his brain was fried. He needed the comfort of his best friend. 

Phil’s fist paused, still poised over the ugly metal of the door. He waited with bated breath for Dan to open his door. Or, maybe he was just trying not to inhale the smell of twenty or so college boys all living together on one floor. Startled by the sharp sound of a door closing behind another college student, Phil glanced around. He watched the kid rush down the hall, while pulling up a pair of jogging bottoms and brushing his hair at the same time. Phil couldn’t help but roll his eyes. There were certainly some aspects of American college that had completely lived up to the stereotypes. 

Phil pushed his glasses up the bridge of his nose and tried knocking again. But he quickly began to feel awkward about standing outside of Dan’s door when he clearly wasn’t around. Phil felt even more dejected than before and, embarrassingly enough, tears pricked the corners of his eyes. Phil blinked them away and swallowed back the tight feeling in his throat. He couldn’t rely on Dan like this, anyway. This was Phil’s last year at college and then he was moving back to the UK in a few months’ time. Phil adjusted the straps of his backpack and began walking down the hall to exit the floor. 

Just as Phil was reaching for the handle of the door at the end of the hall, it opened with a violent  _ whoosh  _ and missed Phil’s head by centimeters. Phil took a step back, feeling almost annoyed enough to say to hell with his fear of confrontation and give the guy an earful. Almost. Phil looked up, fully prepared to grumble to himself and push past the guy, but instead he brightened immediately and said-- “Oh hey, Dan! I was just coming to see you!”

Phil tried not to stare at the little bead of water running across Dan’s decidedly stunning collarbones. He would be lying if he said he didn’t have the tiniest crush on Dan, but that was neither here nor there. Phil remembered the sizeable number of girls that Dan introduced him to last year. Girls he kissed in dark corners of college parties and took on cheesy dates to the movies or homecoming. Dan had made it abundantly clear how interested in women he was. Phil ignored the annoying voice in the back of his head, reminding him that Dan hadn’t been dating girls the way he did last year; in fact, Dan seemed content to hang out with Phil every free second instead. Dan adjusted the towel around his hips and grinned. “Hey! I was just gonna text you after my shower.” He walked down the hall, his bathroom tote and keys clutched in one hand. Phil followed, again trying not to watch the slight movement of Dan’s back muscles. “I needed a bro date, Philly.”

Phil tried not to roll his eyes. It seemed like Phil would convince himself, 100%, that Dan was straight and then he’d go and say something like that. Or compliment Phil’s hair, or insist on cuddling each other and being the little spoon, or stare at Phil’s lips a little too long. It made Phil want to pull his hair out. It seemed like Dan would forever leave him confused and itching to just ask Dan straight up on a date. But, then again, Phil didn’t want to lose out on Dan’s friendship just because of a stupid crush.

“Yeah, me too. Long day.” Phil breathed out, following Dan after he opened his door. Phil immediately inhaled the comforting smell of Dan’s room, shed his backpack and jacket, and collapsed on Dan’s bed. Phil groaned and pushed his fingers up underneath his glasses to massage his tired eyes. “Bloody hell, I had a day of it.” Phil said. He removed his fingers from his eyes and flung his arms out. Dan’s bed was actually two twin XL’s pushed together, because his roommate never showed up and the school never forced a roommate on Dan. It was why Phil spent so much time in Dan’s room (or at least, that’s what Phil told himself). Otherwise, Phil was stuck in his own tiny twin XL in a room with his alpha-gamma-beta-delta-whatever roommate who refused to keep his half even remotely clean. Phil immediately regretted uncovering his eyes, because he was greeted by a completely naked Dan pulling on a pair of pants. Of course, it was totally normal for two guys to change in front of each other, but Phil could use some warning before Dan’s dick was out.

“Bloody hell!” Dan said with the over-exaggerated flair of an American trying to replicate a British accent. He flopped down next to Phil and clung to his side. All of the air seemed to exit Phil’s lungs at once and he could feel his face burning red. He tried not to think about Dan cuddling him in just a pair of pants. Phil was supposed to be a very mature, very suave 22-year-old, almost college graduate. An exotic, British international student who wooed men with his accent and knowledge of European travel. How did Dan manage to make him feel like a 15 year old with his first crush? “I’ll never get tired of your britishisms, ya redcoat.” Dan reached up and ruffled Phil’s hair fondly, as if he wasn’t two years younger than him. “Do you want me to tell me about your day, while I give you a massage, dear?”

Phil snorted and hit Dan with his own pillow, because otherwise he would have said something embarrassing like “please.” “I’ll tell you about my day, Danny, but I don’t want you to put your dirty fingers anywhere near me,” Phil lied. He tried not to think about how much he wanted Dan’s fingers near him. On him. In him. Phil cleared his throat, certain that his skin was going to start burning away it was so hot. 

“I’m hurt.” Dan pouted, staring up at Phil with wide eyes that would put a puppy to shame. “Are you sure you don’t want me to touch you? Not even like this?” Dan wrapped his arm around Phil’s chest and nestled his way into Phil’s neck. Phil’s heart was beating hard and fast. He hoped Dan couldn’t feel his fluttering pulse. 

“Th-that’s fine.” Phil stuttered, knowing he sounded like a blushing virgin talking to his senpai. Phil tried to salvage the situation by sounding nonshalont: “I’ll allow it.” He settled his cheek into Dan’s hair.

“Ok, but I’m not kidding. Tell me about your day.” Dan briefly pressed his nose into Phil’s neck, almost like a kiss. Phil was taken aback. It’s not that they didn’t vent to each other on a regular basis, but neither of them had ever invited the other to do it. It seemed too much like something two people in a committed relationship would do. Phil ignored that; the need to vent was stronger than his annoyance of Dan crossing yet another boundary of friendship.

“Oh, well… You know I had to take that 8:00 AM theory course this semester. It literally has five people in it, and so it’s kind of not okay for any of us to decide not to talk. And critical theory is just not what my brain is up to at 8:00 AM.” Phil stared up at the textured ceiling, running his eyes across the bumps and suspicious stains. Weirdly enough, there was a footprint in the middle of the ceiling that Dan and Phil sometimes theorized about.  “We had a graded discussion today, too, and that makes everything a billion times more scary. You know how I get under pressure.” Dan hummed and patted Phil’s chest reassuringly, before starting to soothe little circles across the expanse instead. Phil barely noticed, barreling on in his rant. 

“And my Mondays, Wednesdays, and Fridays are so shit. After theory, I had a shift at the Arts and Film office, where Dr. Coreberry cocked up the printer again and made me fix it.” Dan’s hand trailed from Phil’s chest, to his stomach. 

“And of course I had two other classes after that. No time to eat lunch.” Dan made a displeased noise in the back of his throat. “I ate dinner, you ding-dong. Don’t worry,” Phil reassured him. “I’m just ready for this day to be done. I’m not gonna lie, I was close to crying when you didn’t answer your door. I just need some Dan-time.” Phil stopped himself, knowing that if he continued on that vein, he would be confessing stuff to Dan in no time. And that didn’t need to happen. “I’m just glad it’s Friday.”

That’s when Phil became more aware of the soft touch of Dan’s hand on his body. Dan’s fingers were getting dangerously close to the strip of bare skin on Phil’s lower stomach where his checked shirt had ridden up. Phil knew that Dan was trying to soothe Phil, but it was just keying him up more. Before he knew what he was doing, Phil grabbed Dan’s wrist and stilled the movement of his hand. Dan let out a noise of confusion and picked his head up to look at Phil.

Phil ignored Dan’s look, just trying to quiet his heartbeat. “Uh, yeah. So. Um, any advice?” Phil stuttered. He sounded like an idiot, but desperately wanted to distract Dan.

“Advice?” Dan said incredulously. “Phil, I’m a sophomore. I’m thinking a senior like you knows a little bit more about college.” Dan flopped down onto his back, leaving a sizeable distance between the two of them that made Phil feel terrible. It was a catch-22. He wanted Dan close because he liked Dan, and their closeness made him feel giddy and cared for. But, the closer they got, the harder it was to pretend that Phil wasn’t head-over-heels for his best friend. 

“Uhh, yeah. But, the youths still have something to offer to the elderly.” Phil tried to bring the lighthearted atmosphere back. He poked Dan’s soft, bare tummy. Dan seemed reluctant to let Phil cheer him up. “Like, old people are bitter and think they know everything. They need to listen to young people once in a while.” Phil stuck more fingers into Dan’s middle, effectively tickling him. Dan tensed, but held his composure. Phil could see his face getting redder and the side of his mouth quirking up into a grin. Phil’s fingers made their way up toward Dan’s neck, and Phil prepared to be smacked. Dan squealed and rolled away, kicking his legs in retaliation. 

“You’re aren’t—” Dan panted, slapping Phil’s hands way. “Old, you idiot!” 

Phil pushed himself up on his knees to get better access to Dan’s body. Phil was addicted to Dan’s broad grin and the dimples that kissed his cheeks; Phil feared that he would do next to anything to make sure that Dan was always smiling and laughing. Tickling dissolved into wrestling, with the two of them grappling at each other’s arms and kneeing sensitive places on each other’s bodies. 

Finally, the two boys landed on their backs, breathlessly admitting truce. Dan’s hand settled into Phil’s palm and Phil wanted to both laugh and scream. Dan just didn’t get it. He didn’t understand what he did to Phil. They lay there catching their breaths together.

“So, what do you want to do?” Dan asked.

_ You,  _ Phil’s mind supplied unhelpfully. “Oh, I hadn’t thought much about it. Too tired for video games. Do you want to watch a movie?” Dan hummed thoughtfully and pushed himself up out of bed. Phil averted his eyes from Dan’s naked back and the tight boxer-briefs stretching over his bum. Thankfully enough, Dan pulled open his chest of drawers and pulled on a hoodie and some basketball shorts. 

He got down on his hands and knees to look at his DVD collection. “Did you want something new or something we’ve seen before?” Phil told him he didn’t think his brain could handle a new plotline, so Dan pulled out  _ The Goonies _ . The movie brought back fond memories of him meeting Dan for the first time at a movie out on the green. It was First Week of Phil’s junior year, and he found himself in a friend group that wanted to do  _ all  _ of the First Week activities put on by the student orgs. They went to laser tag and craft nights and trivia tournaments and dance parties on the campus commons. The movie night had turned out worth it, because one of Phil’s mutual friends dragged Dan along and the two of them bonded over their love of popcorn and cheesy 80s adventure comedy movies featuring children. Phil liked how Dan poked fun at his accent, instead of fawning over it. Phil would forever remember that night with fondness. It had seemed like there was a little bit of magic on that night, but maybe it was just the cool evening air and air-popped popcorn. From then on, Dan and Phil were attached at the hip. 

Phil grinned when he saw the DVD cover. “Aw, Danny, are you getting nostalgic for our friendaversary?”

“Shut up. We’ve missed our friendaversary by several months.” Dan smiled back but it didn’t reach his eyes. Phil frowned. Had he hurt Dan by pushing him away earlier? Was Dan sad for another reason? Phil desperately wanted to rectify the situation. He reached out, grabbed ahold of Dan’s hoodie sleeves and pulled him down on the bed. Dan collapsed on top of Phil and the DVD slipped out of Dan’s hand. Phil wrapped his arms around Dan in a tight hug and pushed his head into Dan’s shoulder. “Ya going soft on me, buddy?”

Dan sighed, melting into Phil’s hug. “Maybe a little. This is your last year here, Phil. In six months, you’re gonna be across the pond.” Dan’s voice wobbled with emotion and Phil blinked in surprise. 

“Hey, it’s ok. We’ll skype all the time. And you’ll visit me. And I’ll visit you.”

“That’s not how it works.” Dan shook his head, filling Phil’s mouth with curly hair. “We’ll say that, and make promises. But we will lose touch eventually. Then we’ll just be mutual facebook friends and who fondly remember each other and I’ll tell my kids about the cute British international student who agreed to do whacky college stuff with me.”

Phil told himself to ignore the “cute” comment, but he silently cursed Dan’s tortuous, flirty ways. He tightened his arms around Dan again. “You know what, Howell? Just for that, I’m going to stay in touch just to spite you.” Phil rolled over, tossing Dan off his body and pulling Dan’s hood over Dan’s eyes in one fell swoop. Dan flailed and swore at Phil, the material over his face muffling his words. Phil giggled and let go.

“You’re a dick.” Dan told Phil, his eyes shining with mirth and maybe a little something else.

“You love me, though.”

“Yeah, I guess I do.” Dan bit his lip and they stared at each other for a long moment. Were they having a moment? Was Phil just imagining it? He wondered what would happen if he just… leaned forward and kissed Dan. Would it really mess everything up? And Dan was completely right… in six months, Phil was moving away permanently. He planned on applying for editing internships in Manchester or London. But he didn’t think he could live with himself if he always had to think of Dan and wonder  _ what if _ . Before Phil could gather up the courage to lean forward, however, Dan was pushing himself out of bed and reaching for the plastic DVD case forgotten on his black duvet. “Well, better put this in. Do you want popcorn? I think I might have a pack or two left. We could get some drinks at the vending machine.”

Slightly disappointed in himself, Phil agreed to pop them popcorn and get drinks. He fought off Dan’s offer to pay, insisting that he owed Dan for takeout. Their friendship was one of never-ending debts and repayments in the form of food. It worked perfectly. The vending machine was far enough down the hall to allow Phil to clear his head. Phil was thankful for the fresh air to his brain… fresh being a relative term, of course. He couldn’t go and do something stupid like kiss Dan, not when they already had it so good. Phil would just make it weird, and then his final sixth months in America would be ruined.  

When he got back, Phil caught the package of popcorn that Dan threw to him. As the popcorn popped in the microwave on the other side of the room, Phil monitored it closely because he hated burnt popcorn. “I never asked how your classes went today, by the way,” Phil said. After a brief and disastrous semester of law, Dan had switched to an acting degree. Phil was almost sad he wasn’t around to help Dan during his first year; the way Dan described it, it sounded pretty horrible.

“They were fine. I’m auditioning for the upcoming theater production on campus, which is Shrek the Musical, embarrassingly enough.”   

Phil popped open the microwave and narrowed his eyes at Dan, trying to determine if Dan was pulling his leg. “You’re joking?”

“Not joking. I’m trying out for Lord Farquaad.”

Phil couldn’t help but chuckle at that. “Of course you are.”

Dan chucked the empty DVD case at Phil’s head, missing completely. “What the hell is that supposed to mean?”

“Oh nothing.” Phil emptied the popcorn into Dan’s only bowl— a giant metal mixing bowl that he had drunkenly stolen from his dorm’s kitchen because he was a bit of a klepto when drunk. “Good luck with the role. You’d make great tiny, whiny royalty.”

“Just sit down and shut up.” Dan grabbed the popcorn from Phil and put his face in the bowl, picking up individual pieces with his tongue, lizard-style. 

Phil propped up several of Dan’s pillows against the wall and got cosy. “Ew, stop tonguing the popcorn.”

“I’ll tongue what I please.” Dan replied, settling down next to Phil and spilling several kernels on the bed, to be squashed and forgotten under their bodies. He pressed play on his remote control.

Phil settled down into Dan’s shoulder and sighed contentedly. “I’ll tongue your mum.”

“Watch it, limey. I’ll dump this whole bowl of popcorn over your head, Boston Tea Party style.”

After informing Dan that didn’t even make any sense and shushing him, they settled in to watch young Sean Astin and his crew of ragtag crew of treasure-hunters. And if they sung along to Cindy Lauper a little too loudly… no one was around to know. When their movie ended, they decided on an 80s/ 90s marathon, putting on  _ The Princess Bride  _ next. Since they had both seen these movies plenty of times, Dan and Phil talked over most of it and quoted their favorite parts. Phil could feel the tension leaving his shoulders, especially after Dan lended him a pair of comfy pjs and a clean shirt that Phil practically swam in. When they settled down, pressed together underneath the covers, Phil was completely content. 

Even though it was nearing ten o’clock when  _ The Princess Bride  _ ended and Phil’s eyelids were growing heavy, they decided to put on _ Hook _ . They were silent during this one, feeling too tired to talk. Phil forgot how  _ Hook _ always made Phil cry, until the ending rudely reminded him. Something about the story of Peter Pan resonated with Phil, whether it was the concept of infinite youth or of treating every day like an adventure or something else entirely.

The last line echoed in Phil’s head, even as the credits rolled. He stared, unseeingly at the names crawling down the screen. “To live will be an awfully big adventure,” he whispered, happy that they had turned the lights off somewhere around the second movie. 

“Hmm?” Dan turned toward Phil sleepily and Phil felt his breath catch in his throat. The blueish light of the TV gave Dan’s face an eerily beautiful glow. Shadows curved along his cheeks, showing the movement of his ridiculously long eyelashes.

“I was just quoting the last line of that movie. I love that line,” Phil replied breathlessly. He scootched down the bed and turned to face Dan, who copied his movements.

Dan smiled “It’s a good one. I unironically love that movie. It’s so cheesy, but in the best kind of way.” Phil nodded and closed his eyes, fighting another wave of tears.  _ To live will be an awfully big adventure _ . “You ok, big guy?” Dan asked, noticing the wetness on Phil’s cheeks.

“I’m ok.” Phil’s voice cracked. “That movie just hits my sad nerve sometimes.” Dan chuckled at the phrase “sad nerve” and nodded understandingly. Phil paused, considering why it was hitting him so strongly in this moment. “It’s just… weird to think I’ll be moving away so soon, you know? You reminded me how soon it’s happening. How soon life is happening. It’s a big adventure, sure, but can I do it alone?” Phil reached up and took his glasses off; they were pushing painfully into the bridge of his nose and fogging up a little. He deposited them on the window sill behind Dan’s bed. Phil wiped his eyes with the back of his hands and repositioned himself on the bed.

Phil smoothed his hand across Dan’s sheets. Dan reached across to lay his hand on Phil’s. “Hey, you won’t be alone. You have your mom and dad and Martyn and all of your friends back home. And you’ll have me.” Dan’s comment only hit Phil harder. Dan had never personally met his family, but he talked about them like he knew them personally. Phil felt something squirm happily in his stomach when he thought about Dan meeting his family.

“I’ll have you, but not in the way I want.” Phil said, before he could really realize how it sounded. Once it was out there, though, there was no taking it back. And maybe “living” didn’t just mean graduating college and getting a job. Maybe it meant taking chances and telling people what they meant to him, before it was too late.

Dan inhaled. It wasn’t a sharp inhale, but it was sudden and strong enough that Phil noticed it. He felt anxious all of the sudden and wished he could take back his words. “Well, how do you want me?” Dan stared at Phil intently. The TV had gone dark awhile ago, so the only lights reflected in Dan’s dark eyes were the streetlamps outside the dorm building. 

“I want you with me.” Phil couldn’t tell if Dan was picking up the double meaning of his words. The silence stretched on for a few moments, interrupted only by the sound of a few drunken, rowdy college students calling out to each other somewhere in the building. 

Dan curled his fingers around Phil’s and squeezed “I could come with you. If you wanted me to, I would come.”   

Phil looked at Dan with wide eyes. What exactly was Dan suggesting? “What do you mean?”

Dan pushed himself onto his back, almost as if he felt vulnerable. Phil simultaneously missed the intensity of his eyes and was thankful for the reprieve. “This might sound a little clingy… I hope you don’t think I’m a massive creep, but I’ve been looking into some exchange programs in the UK. I was thinking that, I dunno, maybe I can apply for the exchange program and you could apply for your internships and we could go... together.” Dan groaned, “god it sounds creepy. It’s not that it wouldn’t be a really sweet deal for me. The UK has some of the best acting schools in the world. I’ve talked to my parents and they’re all for it. You can totally tell me to fuck off if you wa—” 

Phil cut Dan off with a hand to his mouth. “Shut up, Dan. Please, shut up.” Phil smiled so big his cheeks hurt. That’s the best news anyone has ever told me.” 

Dan grinned, “Really? The best?” 

Phil nodded and they settled down, facing one another again. They traded thoughts and daydreams about going to the UK together. Maybe they would live together. Maybe Phil and Dan would make it big time and have some gorgeous, expensive flat in London. They’d visit all the tourist traps and even travel other countries. They’d be there for each other. Phil was floored. He would never have expected Dan to suggest this. Phil himself hadn’t even thought of it. But it made so much sense. Well, except for one thing.

“Dan, can I ask you a question?” Phil pulled the duvet further up over their bodies.

Dan snuggled down and scooted even closer to Phil. It was close enough that Phil could smell buttered popcorn on Dan’s breath and feel the warmth that his body rediated. “Sure, shoot.”

“Um, why… why me? Or, I guess, why do you want to come with me?” Phil was looking everywhere but at Dan, which was next to impossible since they were so close.

“Hmmm…” Dan hummed, almost like he was thinking about what to say. “Phil? Remember when you asked me for advice earlier?” Phil met Dan’s gaze then, his eyebrows furrowing with confusion. “Here’s my advice: stop being so fucking oblivious.” 

Then Dan was leaning forward even more and Phil’s head was spinning and he couldn’t believe this was happening. Was this happening, or had Phil fallen asleep during their movie and was now having an elaborate dream? Dan leaned forward, slotting his nose in next to Phil’s and nuzzling them together. “I like you, you spork. I  _ really  _ like you.” Dan whispered, his words physically ghosting over Phil’s lips. It felt like a kiss. “And I don’t want to lose you before I tell you how much you mean to me. May I kiss you?” 

Dan’s half lidded gaze was soft and happy. Phil wanted to burst. “Please,” Phil croaked. Before he had time to be embarrassed by how gone he sounded already, Dan tipped his chin forward and their lips met. It was so gentle; it felt only a little stronger than Dan’s whispers against Phil’s lips. Phil melted into the kiss, inching his hand up to thread his fingers in Dan’s curls. He pulled Dan closer this way, solidifying the kiss. Telling Dan this was exactly what he wanted. Dan wrapped his arm around Phil’s middle and pressed his large, warm hand against Phil’s back. 

They parted, lips separating molasses slow. Phil cupped Dan’s cheek, dragging a thumb across his bottom lip reverently. Dan smiled and he felt Dan’s lips stretch underneath the pad of his thumb. Phil ducked forward to peck Dan’s lips again. “In case you couldn’t tell,” Another peck. “I like you too. I want—” Another. “—you to come with me to the UK. I’ll miss you too much otherwise.” 

“Good. Sounds like you can’t get rid of me, Phil Lester.”

Phil didn’t have a chance to answer, before Dan was pulling Phil in for a totally different kiss. One that was deep and wet and held promise of wonderful, delicious  _ more _ . It was an invitation that Phil gladly accepted.  _ To live will be an awfully big adventure.  _

**Author's Note:**

> Thanks for reading! Come say hi @phantasizeit on tumblr :)


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